Teaching Scout how to water plants
Teaching Scout how to water plants

 

For me becoming a mom was truly the fullest commitment I ever made!

Motherhood is the greatest self sacrifice, the choice when made will eliminate all balance in life.

How come so many moms feel alone? When really they can’t remember the last time they had a moment alone. Aside from feeling alone we can feel like we lack passion and desire for anyone or anything besides our children.

The self that we once knew is now just a blur. Getting so caught up in the life of what needs to be done? We tend to get overwhelmed by the simplest task. I find myself pushing things off to the next day because I can’t imagine squeezing another thing out of this moment.

Often, my schedule gives me anxiety because of my desire to do all that I did before becoming a mother. Over committing leaves me exhausted.

Midway through the 36 hours of labor

Pregnancy and birth prepare me for the struggle of motherhood. The pain could be so deep and rooted until I let go and focused on mine and my baby’s well being. This is an example and reminder of how to deal with each day. It really was all about the breath. I just needed to make it to the next breath and the breath after that.

My body was preparing to birth breath into the next human. It’s so incredible that we grow these bodies to house the spirit that we raise.

 While it is great to have this awareness, the truth is we can’t live everyday as intensely as the day we gave birth.
However, I must take a moment each day to check in with myself. The most important thing for me to remember is self care. It’s OK to give ourselves a year or two, abandoning our least important needs.
When we find ourselves exhausted, depleted, depressed, resentful, angry, sad or anxious it’s time to check in with our Self. We can start by going over our schedule to find time and space for ourselves.
Don’t get discouraged when the time doesn’t seem to show up right away. Your intention to find it will bring it to you. First search for just 5 minutes
-can you cut out social media for a day?
-can you do one less chore?
-can you wake up earlier or go to bed later?
– can you ask for help or pay for it?
Okay now that you found your first 5 minutes fantasize about what you’ll do when you have more time. Really get into it and feel what that looks like.
I might dance or stretch.
I could make myself a delicious healthy meal.
I could take a long bath.
I’d definitely meditate and journal.
I’d like to do something creative and artistic.
I’d love to get a massage, hypnotherapy, facial or see some kind of healer.
I might even decide to do some deep cleaning, with music of course.
I could go clothes shopping for myself or hang with girlfriends.
In the vein of balance it’s important to have a certain amount of down time and not just time doing.
Being instead of doing is about body consciousness and awareness.  Some subtle examples of doing that can lead to being.  Focusing on your breath connecting to all 5 of your senses in the now moment.
Praying can bring awareness to thoughts and allow you to vent fears.
Sitting in nature.
Let’s not get discouraged by lack. We must start somewhere. Celebrate and honor each self absorbed moment. You may judge that moment but truth is you’re establishing a healthy boundary.
We are teaching our children to care for themselves the same way we are caring for our self. I’m not talking any kind of abandonment. We are in tune with our babies and we are aware of how much space they need. Now get in tune with how much space you need.
We are all a work in progress’s, let’s not judge other mothers. We are literally doing our best. Be careful not to compare with illusions you may see on social media or to any other mother. Recognize jealous justifications and our own fears in the need to judge other moms. Relax and realize you can’t control or manipulate the whole universe.
Now I’d like to congratulate myself for the hour I took to write tonight. My sweet baby is sleeping and now I think I’ll take a bath. I’m going to take time to brush each one of my teeth and floss. It’s can be the simple things.
One of the ways I like to acknowledge my senses is with my essential oil kit. I have my night time ritual that is saturated in self care. Essential oils have been so wonderful for me and “essential” in my self care.  I love to wash my face and massage my moisturizer and immortal roller ball into my forehead and down my neck and chest. It smells so beautiful and light.
I then check in with my body and see which oil might best assist my body in a restful sleep. I choose from 3 staples serenity, lavender or balance.
It’s great when I check in with myself everyday and decide what I need in that moment. It reminds me that I thought about myself. Even if it’s only for a second it’s that breath that counted. The aroma will follow me through the day. I also believe in the law of attraction and when I choose an oil, I choose an intention.
I’d like to send out my deepest gratitude for all the mothers in my life who inspire me. Thank you for sharing your journeys with me. I hope that I spoke to a part of you that needed attention. I know that we love our babies with all of our heart and soul and I feel so blessed to be a mom.

Real Mom Talk
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